A broken heart in mending.

Music comes back first. Before movies, before videogames. Music has a tremendous healing effect. History has proven this with virtually every race and culture. The key is to find the right music. Certain albums are perfectly suited to help soothe a mending heart. Here are the most effective albums. BUSTED STUFF--DAVE MATTHEWS In a darkened room, this record transports you to another world. A great healing album. ROBBIE ROBERTSON - STORYVILLE Play this over and over and over again. It gets better and better and so do you. We don't talk about forever We just catch it while we can And if I grab on to the moment Don't let it slip out of my hand (What About Now: Robertson/Neville) RADIOHEAD - OK COMPUTER At first this might not seem like a healing CD, yet it does work. Some songs work better than others. LAURYN HILL - MIDEDUCATION OF If you're into hip-hop this album helps tremendously, although you may already have it since it was a big seller. Other Good Healing CDs: Pink Floyd, The Wall Emmylou Harris, Brand New Dance Jesus and Mary Chain, Stoned & Dethroned Jimmy Cliff, Hanging Fire Van Morrison, Into the Music Pete Townshend, Who Came First THE WORST RECORDS FOR BROKEN HEARTS ARE "GREATEST HITS", "BEST OF'S", OR "LIVE" RECORDINGS - IN OTHER WORDS, SKIP COMPILATIONS!

/Britney

Posted by A broken heart in mending. at 8:51 PM | Permalink | Comments

I told John over and over....AND over....that my favorite sone was "Easy like sunday morning" by The Commedores and how I thought it would be romantic to slow dance in our livingroom to just that song.
The first time I told him that was when I was out of town. Dumb as I was, I thought that maybe when I got home he would have gotten it and would surprise me with a dance.
You think?
He didn't even remember the conversation. Not even when I reminded him and then asked him a second time a few weeks later did he recall it.

But..about a week ago, now when we are no longer together, he knew it. WHAT THE F**K!!?!?!?!

Am I just a hopeless romantic, in dire need to realize that the only reason I get dissapointed is because of my own expectations or are there guys out there who are like that? Or should I give up?

/britney

Posted by A broken heart in mending. at 2:17 PM | Permalink | Comments

After having been with someone who made me feel completely and utterly worthless, It's easy to start beliving in it.
My head knows it's not true....but my heart has a hard time beliving it. And then it is so easy to settle for something waaay below what should be at least a standard.

So..These are a few things I need my heart to understand.

-If he is not all mine. He is still hers. (I will never be the other woman)
-If I'm not good enought to ever be with when you're sober. GET OUT!
-Breakupsex still means that you are broken up.
-If he is ok with dissapointing me with little things...it will happen with the big one as well.
-If he cheats WITH you..he will cheat ON you.

-I will never lower my bar just because I am lonely.
-I am a foxy, foxy lady...And he is wasting the pretty!

There...Maybe if I tell myself that again and again...I'll start beliving it......

And if I forget...This book has made a different. For all you ladies out there that has been dumped or misstreated and has a hard time letting go. BUY IT!!



/Britney

Posted by A broken heart in mending. at 10:50 AM | Permalink | Comments

I am a woman.
I am beautiful.
I am strong.
I am lovable.
I am talented.
I am scared sometimes.
I even cry sometimes.
I have a broken heart that I am trying to mend.
I write music to make this happen but I figured a blog is yet another tool.
I am swedish but wanna listen to people from all over the world. That is why I write in English.
I have been hurt.
I have been beaten.
I have been crushed.
I have been abused.
I have hit rockbottom.
I decided to get up.

So here I am. I will keep my name to myself because here I will be totally and completely honest with whoever is reading. And...I wanna try to be completely honest with myself. But...for the fun of it..You can call me Britney. =)
Maybe this will the way to write the final chapter in the book of my life that contains "bad boys", abuse and heartache, And the longing to find that someone....that someone who makes me feel like I am the only woman in the world. That someone who wakes up every morning, looks at me and thinks....Oh my God...I am with HER!
The sameone who wants the same things that I do, but who also has a passion of his own that makes him even more special.

As of right now..I kinda have it all...But..Oh no...Not in the same man. I have met someone who is like a best friend to me, who loves children and who would, without a doubt, be the best father in the world. Let's call him John.
He is some one who shares my passion and is very supportive.
But...he dosen't chare my passion for passion.
I come from a relationship filled with abuse, both verbal and pysical. A relationship where I was told every single day how useless and worthless I was...how happy I should be that he even wanted to look at me. A relationship where I was constantly lied to and cheated on.

So...I do need confirmation. Forgive me if that seems insecure. But I am..
I need that special li'l thing that tell me that you want me..that you are thinking of me..Because I DON'T know that on my own. I am not strong enough to belive that and trust in that.
And this man isn't very good at doing that....

But...then there is this other man. Let's call him Sean. He is a man who won't let an hour go by without making sure I know how he feels. A man that also shares my passion. A man that loves me very much.
But..He doesn't want kids...and he doesn't belive in marriage. And I do.
I want it all. I want a husband, a house, children, a dog..white picket fences...I do...Maybe not right now but I want it. I feel like that will take my life to a whole new level...When I'm ready..
And I want someone who wants that to.

But I have realized one thing, having gone through a relationship with violent druguser.
YOU CAN NEVER CHANGE PEOPLE. The only reason people will change is when they do it on their own.
So I know that I don't wanna invest years ans years with a man, with a hope that maybe he will change...Because most people won't.
He don't want kids. And he will not change.
I do want kids. And I won't change either.
And I sure don't want children with someone who really don't want them but does it to satisfy me.

I want someone like John...who is dying to have kids...who feels like they would complete him.
Who's biological clock ticks faster than mine.
I want that. I want it all.

Can you ever have it all? Or do you have to settle for what is the most important?

/Britney

Posted by A broken heart in mending. at 11:17 PM | Permalink | Comments